My Three Mantra’s: A Quarter of a Century Year-Old’s View Point

Last week, I turned a quarter of a century. Now, by all means, this does not mean I am a life hacking genius (even if I would like to think so). I have, however, learned a few things along this short road of life. These are handed down from other people, which have been shaped and molded to fit into my unique being. I like to call them my ‘mantras,’ but really they should be on everyones mental daily checklist. If these are not part of your daily gratitude log that you should me mentally ticking off, please, let them be reminders. I know some days these things are not easy… trust me, I know. Sometimes you feel like you have to drag yourself out of bed, and no amount of coffee is going to make you a decent person for the day. But, I must say, by following these mantras daily, these hard, dragging days are few and far between.

These are not groundbreaking; it is nothing we do not already know. They are just so important that I think reiterating them as an adult is something relevant. They were important when we were young, and they are going to continue to be important as adulthood continues. I challenge you to sit back and reflect with me on these, as it is something all of us can continue to learn from.

Acceptance is Key

‘Happiness can exist only in acceptance’ – George Orwell

The saying, ‘treat others the way you want to be treated’ was something I was told as a young girl. When we said some not-so-nice-things, or we didn’t share our toys, or left someone out on the playground, our parents would be looming over us, wagging their finger, telling us exactly that. Well, I still do this to myself, and I am now an adult. Making sure in the work place, in your personal life, and on a daily basis that you are treating people with respect and acceptance is very important. If you are treating people the way you want to be treated, you are not only accepting them, you are acknowledging that they too deserve the respect that you deserve. Mutual respect and acceptance is so important; everyone is different, they grew up different, went through different trials, etc. We cannot judge them for that; we can only accept it.

I feel like this is pretty relevant in todays day and age, especially with the election that has happened recently. Regardless of the side you are on, mutual respect and acceptance is very necessary for everyone to continue to live in harmony. It can be hard when harsh words fly; we are all guilty of saying things we don’t mean, being boastful and overly prideful. But, at the end of the day, we must turn to accept that they are allowed to have an opinion. And when it gets difficult to do so, or the conversation is not going anywhere, it is okay to say I accept you and what you have to say/what you believe, end it at that and move on. There is no reason that we cannot just accept it, even if we think it is ‘wrong.’

Be Authentic. Be You

‘I think the most important thing in life is self-love, because if you don’t have self-love, and respect for everything about your own body, your own soul, your own capsule, then how can you have an authentic relationship with anyone else?’ – Shailene Woodley 

Being yourself is a wonderful, wonderful thing. In a media ran world, it is hard not to pull a little bit from this person, and a little bit from that person. Or stray away from what the magazines show as ‘beautiful.’ Being yourself is something that overcomes all external beauty because once you have accepted yourself for who you are, your inner beauty is going to outwardly be portrayed. Sometimes it is hard because there are so many types of what beauty is supposed to be. But let me tell you, that is wrong. Everything is beautiful, everyone is beautiful, and your true self is what directs that beauty… so let it shine, soul sister.

Sometimes it is hard to find yourself. Remember, that’s okay. It’s not that you have lost yourself, you have just found a new piece of yourself and you are rediscovering where that puzzle piece fits. You just have to trust yourself that you are not going down the wrong path. My dad uses the analogy of walking down a path and then it comes to a fork in the road. But it is not just a ‘this way or that way’ sort of fork in the road. It’s one of those Alice in Wonderland signs where there are about 800 different ways you can go. And you think you are following the right arrow, but you end up lost. So you take another step and there are 300 more ways to go. No way is the right way, and you can never backtrack and go back to see if the one in the middle was right. You just have to keep pushing forward. And through those trials and errors, you will find even more puzzle pieces; some that will fit perfectly, some that are misplaced, and some that need to be replaced completely. And all of that is okay. You find you through that process. You find your authentic, real self. It is not always easy, and you should be proud of the hardships and trials that have made you… you.

Stand Up and Be Present

‘When you feel powerful, you are willing to stand up for your rights, you are willing to stand up for what you believe in, you’re more willing to stand up and be counted.’ – Margaret Cho

Stand up for yourself. Stand up for others. Stand up for the things you believe in. It is easy to let others walk all over you. It is easy to not say anything to the person bullying others (remember adults can be bullies too). It is easy to idly sit by and pretend like things are not happening. You need to wake up. You need to put your foot down. You need to make your voice heard. Most importantly, you need to be present. If you want to see a change, be the change. I know personally I have felt that it was easier to just let things happen the way they were going to happen, or know I didn’t have much of a say. Well… what the hell was I thinking? Standing up for myself, others, and what I believe in has been a liberating piece of my identity and I couldn’t be more proud of myself. When I see others doing it as well, it is such a good feeling, knowing their confidence is leading them, that they too are present and stronger than ever. There is nothing more satisfying than that.

I know these are things we all know, and most of us follow these mantras daily, in our way. But these specific ones have always stuck with me my entire life. Accepting others for who they are, remaining true to myself, and standing up for myself, others and what I believe in. I am going to continue to fill these bubbles with life lessons and experiences that fit into the realm of each, and so are you. These experience make you; they never break you. Just remember that when you’re feeling defeated, or like nothing is going in your favor. It is never a BAD thing, even when the world is after you. It is always a learning experience that you can fold up, and keep in your pocket.

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Say Bye to Stress!

We live in a world where we are constantly go-go-going, and we never stop. A factor of this feeling of a never ending cycle is stress, and it plays a huge factor in our daily life. Most of the time, we don’t really realize how it is negatively affecting our body and mind.

I wanted to share with you my ways of ‘de-stressing’ myself (+ some helpful apps, since… there is an app for that!)

 

Light Exercise

Sometimes when you’re stressed and mad and overwhelmed you just want to go run, or box or do heavy lifting to get all the aggression out. That is great and I applaud you for it! But for me, when I am stressed the best thing I can do is “light” exercise. Going on a walk, doing some stretches, working and strengthening certain yoga poses… all of these things help keep that stress road block under control. Why? Because with these types of exercise, I can really focus on my breathing. Feeling my chest go up and down, slowly inhaling and exhaling, theses things do wonders on the body and even more so for the mind.

A great app for yoga is Yoga Studio by Giam. It is basically like a mini yoga studio in your palm. It’s perfect for all stages and expertise. You can create your own class, or follow a collection of classes. I suggest using it if yoga is your thing.

Meditation is also a really great, and you can consider as a light exercise. You’re working on your breathing, you are opening your mind, closing your eyes and letting your body relax into a deeper meditation to help lift all of the troubles of that day. It is so relaxing that the stress and overwhelming feelings of the day tend to melt away.

One of my favorite mediation apps is Breathe. It is a great app that lets you track your meditations, your feelings, etc. They provide you with a small list of guided mediations based off your mood, or you can self practice with a meditation timer. I like going through the guided practices.

 

Write it Down

Redundant, because I know everyone will tell you this, but that’s because it works. Write. It. Down. If you’re struggling with a never ending to-do list for the day/week/month… write it down! If you’re feeling overwhelmed and you’re not really sure why… write it down and explore your feelings and trust me, it will flow right out of you. Sometimes doing both is the key to decluttering your mind. Going to bed with an upset and jumbled mind will only lead to an awful nights sleep and an even more miserable morning. Trust me, you want to slay every morning! If you need help with that, check out my How to be a Morning #GIRLBOSS post on how to set yourself up for morning success.

One of my favorite apps to use for this comes with the iPhone! I use the reminders app religiously. If I need a quick little reminder on something I need to do for the day, it is in there. If I am going shopping and I need to make a list of everything I need to buy, it’s in there. Even my monthly and yearly reminders are in there. Once you start utilizing it and syncing it with a calendar, it is the best way to know you are on top of your schedule. When you aren’t on top of you’re schedule, it can be an added stress that you just don’t need! If you don’t have an iPhone, there are so many apps out there for reminders or list taking. Just to name a few, Microsoft’s OneNote, Wanderlist and even your phones basic notepad will help.

Just because I am super tech savvy, doesn’t mean I don’t use pen and paper. Pen and Paper is my favorite way to keep track of my daily schedule and tasks that need to get done. I carry a day planner and a Documents binder, with my weekly to-do’s, with me everywhere I go. having any sort of planner or notebook will help keep you organized and when something pops in your mind it is easy to just jot it down. Plus, writing everything out, either in a planner or on your phone before you go to bed, will get everything out of your head and help get you the sleep you deserve.

 

Declutter your Space

This is HUGE. If you come home stressed out from the abundance of things you have to do, and your room looks like a tornado ripped through it, you will not be successful or get as much done as you want. Most likely you will be even more stressed of the mess that is an easy fix. Many studies have shown that with a clean space, you are able to be more productive and prove to be more successful. Take 30 minutes to make your bed, clear your desk, throw out the trash, wipe down your surfaces, and make sure everything is in its place. This also includes your desk at work! If it is cluttered with papers and notebooks and 800 sticky notes with pending ‘to-dos,’ you’re never going to be able to focus. Now, you don’t have to go all spring cleaning on your workspace or room, but by decluttering and putting away somethings, you are bound to feel more relaxed in your space and therefore less stressed and more productive. Who doesn’t want that!

There may not be an app for a magic fairy to come clean your desk, but take that time to listen to a podcast, an audiobook or tedtalks. These are great to keep your mind stimulated while cleaning and plus you learn some pretty cool things!

 

Drink Water and Eat a Good Snack/Meal

After a long hard day don’t we all just want to crash on the couch, binge watch Project Runway, and eat our favorite junk food. Of course. I know I do. But… self control people! Come home to a large glass of water (spice it up with some yummy fruit infusions!) and have a healthy snack and/or meal. It’s easy to reach in the cupboard and grab a bag of chips or cookies. Instead whip up something healthier, like a quick acai smoothie or granola bowl, and your body will thank you.

There are tons of apps for recipes and quick fixes. Pinterest is a great one (watch out though: addicting…) if you’re growing through the snack or meal prep sections. It will link you to the original source and you can get goin’! Another great app is Handpick. It is like a Pinterest type app but designated for food and drinks. They give you topics to search, or you can search by dish or ingredients! Its really a nifty idea if you’re looking to create something at home with ingredients you already have in the kitchen! Select the ingredients you have and wallah… multiple dishes for you are pulled up for you so you can pick and choose, or save it for a later date.

 

Lastly, Take Some Time for YOU

In a fast paced world, we can get caught up in so many different things that you often lose yourself a bit along the way. Take sometime to pamper yourself, to spend time with yourself; do it for you. Sometimes all it takes is a nice hot bath, some candles and a relaxing thirty minutes to ground myself. And adding in an extra me time by painting my nails, doing a hair and face mask and just feeling good about myself, never hurts. Sometimes its opening up a book and spending sometime with characters or reading about your favorite person and their “I-did-it-so-can-you” story so you too can feel inspired. Sometimes its opening up a brand new journal and writing all your dreams out on paper and smiling about the accomplishments you will make. Don’t ever take away ‘you’ time. It is the most important time to help relax yourself and not worry or think about any thing else. You time is about you and celebrating you, and only you.

There is no real app for this because this should be where you disconnect and really spend time with yourself. Put your phone on Do Not Disturb and enjoy it.

 

I know our to-do lists are just getting longer by the second, but look at each of the things as stepping stones to success. If you fall off, don’t stress or get caught up in the overwhelming feeling that you will never get anything done. Remind yourself that you can do it, follow some of the steps above, and strap on those boots because you’re doing it for you.

 

Disclaimer: This is not an AD for any of the above Apps. I love these apps and they are personally some of my favorites that I use on a daily basis!

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